X-Files Episode Love: The Field Where I Died

"At times I almost dream..."

"The Field Where I Died" is one of my favorite X-Files episodes of the entire series. There are a number of X-Philes who hate it and think it was a waste of time. But I have a very emotional reaction to it every time I watch it.

The episode centers around the idea that we are reborn again and again, in a cycle with the same souls to replay the same roles in different lives. Mulder and the woman in this episode, Melissa Riedal-Ephesian, are supposed to be star-crossed lovers every time their souls are reborn. My main problem with "The Field Where I Died" in the context of the entire series is that the cycle of rebirth casts Mulder and Scully as only buddies or comrades, or parent and child. We know that this is untrue, as Mulder and Scully have a child together, William, before the series ends. They are the lovers, the soul mates in this life.

The thought of losing the love of your life over and over again - it gets me every time. When Melissa and Mulder are regressed into their past lives and talk about waiting for each other, I tear up.

"I miss you." When Melissa - or Sarah Kavanaugh - says that, it's like I can feel it. It's so passionate, so gut-wrenching. It makes me wonder if I, too, have lived lives before this one.